Finished my last week of pre-conditioning. I am back home from the UK for three weeks. The physical and emotional shifting between households can be difficult. But once again I am reminded that with change also is the opportunity to learn what we can tolerate. I am increasing my mental stamina to be uncomfortable. Swam 100 laps and rode 50 miles for one workout, I am proud of me!!
I have observed an interesting mental journey that seems to transpire when one is put under distress. I am discovering that if you can navigate through the three stages of struggle, success does become a habit.
How Do You Listen to Yourself?
It is imperative to change how you listen not only to others but also to yourself. Do you listen for the negative or the positive? Do you listen for inadequacy or achievement? How can you tell which type of listener you are?
While listening to unpleasant news do you begin to brace yourself for failure and rejection? Or do you ask yourself what can I learn from the changing situation or how can I help? Both scenarios, as a listener you are hearing distressing news, but your response and the effects of how you listen will dramatically affect your recovery from the news.
How Do You Manage Goal Acquisition?
There are three prominent stages we traverse during goal acquisition. The first stage is the inspired stage. We are fortified with inspirational quotes, praise from comrades and peers commending us on our tremendous goals we have set for ourselves. This is the easiest stage to manage. We are full of optimism and inspired, the amount of effort expended at this point is minimal. You feel strong and ready to achieve the end result.
Stage two emerges though once we set out to achieve our goal. We have invested some work, made a few personal sacrifices, but the goal is not yet reached. How do you manage yourself when you begin to tire? When you become uncomfortable and your biggest enemy of goal acquisition appears, doubt. Doubt slithers around the edges of our thoughts and begins to drive our thinking. We begin to question if we can. Do we even want our goal anymore? What does it matter?
Who Do You Believe?
First to counter this murky mental area, remind yourself of your goal’s finish line and bring your future self to the present. Second, do not distress and become anxious in what I have affectionately coined this doubting stage as ‘nomad’s land.’ It’s the time period where it is just a matter of hard work, and there is not an easy way around it. The work no one sees, the stress no one else pines over, and the burden of heavy loneliness that no one else carries. It is in this epic chasm of mental anguish where the habits of success are born. In this vast nomad’s mental torment, this desert, you master mental toughness. Reaffirm your goal, your wants, and re-decide ultimately recommit that you will wait out the discomfort in exchange for the affirming belief that your future self is telling the truth. This is what you want. This is where you want to be. This is worth working for. These are decisions where you are most honest with yourself. No one else knows, this is you learning to believe in you.
How Do You Coach Yourself?
As you coach and nurture yourself you generate action minded thinking. This is the positive, I can. I will. I am. Repeat these statements to yourself as many times as needed to ensure you keep moving forward to the finish line. I am ok. Everything always works out. Just give it time. Be patient. I am strong. I am healthy. I am learning. I am proud of you. That’s right. I am proud of you. Validate yourself. Recognize and affirm your efforts. These rich statements of belief and affirmation strengthen your productivity, distracts you from the present irritants, to a laser beam focus on your goal. I am achieving. Be patient with yourself as you adapt to this new mental scenery.
You set a new goal. You are experiencing new stimuli. Your mind, body, and spirit haven’t been in this space before. Allow yourself to look around. Disregard all the mental distractions zooming around and steady yourself on your path to the goal. This will not be the first time you are in this intense onslaught of pushing past what you were able to achieve prior, but as you breathe deeply and keep countering doubt and fatigue with action oriented self-affirming statements you will start to recognize that blissful feeling of success. Maybe your nomad’s desert last ten minutes. An hour. A day. A week. A year. Don’t give up. You are training to make success a habit. You are conditioning yourself to trespass the ordinary and comfortably perform in the extraordinary, every day. Rewrite your unconscious thinking during this nomad time. Turn positive action oriented thinking into routine thinking. Success slowly becomes your mental routine which makes success your new habit.
Welcome to Stage three. You just made yourself a believer IN you! Now you will not be deterred the next time you enter nomad’s land. Remember…I can. I will. I am.
Thank you for the support!!